It’s not uncommon to grow up in an environment that has fundamentally built societal expectations into it. Simple societal norms and biases are common values that we see in different parts of the world, but they are just a small example of specific expectations. Expectations can be quite intimate, deriving from family dynamics, religious beliefs, family succession, genetic traits, and other niche environments. 

From a young age, expectations are the principles that guide us in making certain decisions and living a specific way. While they may encourage traits of politeness and patience, all because your mothers expected you to be kind to other kids at school, they can also lead to unhappiness and frustration over time. Expectations may lead to a positive impact while also being substantially destructive.

Aspirations on the other hand are quite different from expectations. They are created not by a societal norm or a family tradition, but by self exploration and honest, intrinsic desire. Aspirations, simply put, are self defined visions of want out of life. They are what you want to achieve, who you want to be, and what kind of impact that you want to have. They differ from expectations solely because the originate within the self. 

So how are these two things connected? Having expectations without an aspiration is a quick way to live a miserable life. All it means is that you must live a certain way; you either fulfill the expectation or you don’t, there is no in between. Now, some people might argue and say self-imposed expectations are simply another form of personal values, and therefore inherently meaningful. Here is how I would respond to that:

Expectations are a tool, not a personal standard. Let me give you an example. Say you are failing a class in university and you want to improve your grade. A simple goal, right. One might set the expectation of waking up at 6am and studying for an extra 2 hours for that class before doing anything else in their day. What are they doing? In this case, setting that expectations of studying in the morning is the tool to help you achieve the goal of improving your grade, it is not the way that you live. It is simply the means by which you allow yourself to get what you want out of life. Think about it this way: If you have a bunch of tools but no car to fix, how much value do your tools really have? What purpose do they really provide?

In conclusion, expectations are the tools that allow us to achieve our aspirations, but they should never be the defining standard of who we are. Aspirations are what give meaning to life. They create a clear vision of achievement. Living to fulfill an expectation only sets you up for failure. Chasing an aspiration by setting expectations can help you get to where you want to be. They must work simultaneously. At the end of the day, this means one thing:

You must dream first, because work without a dream is just ruckus in a vacuum chamber.